I am having my weekly day off today. I need a rest from all this researching, writing and reading. My eyes are positively hurting. That book with no punctuation was the final straw. It has worn me out. Bit miserable as well today. The weather and my mood. We should have visitors this weekend. Instead just an empty house for us to rattle around in. Him Indoors is taking over the blog again today. Wink, wink Best Uni Buddy. I’ve asked Him to drop the Scottish though as some of you cannea understand Him.
What a strange week this has been? A mixed bag of weather and I’ve felt a bit tired all week. More like my age. Her Indoors has been at me all week. Can we do this? Can we go there? Can I dig this and move that? Non-stop. Monday was like being back at work. She had me dragging rocks about all morning to finish off the garden before lockdown drinks with the neighbours. And she wanted me to dig big holes to plant some herbs or they might have been hebes. It would be easier if we had a dog to dig the holes but oh no! We have to wait until after the wedding. I’ll be too old to bend down then and pick up the dog poo. However, She did pick a good night for drinks in the garden. The weather was brilliant, sunny and warm. Just right for a few cold beers and a full bottle of red. Albeit she was shouting at me before our neighbours arrived. Normally she shouts at me for not emptying the dishwasher, this time it was because I was. Something about nibble bowls and a hot wash and less chance of contamination. She was funny though after the first bottle of white. Slurring her words, wrapped in a blanket, sat in the dark, because she still hasn’t ordered any solar lights. Drinking guests couldn’t find their way to the toilet even if she had been prepared to let them in the house. It would be far easier if Northumberland County Council did glass recycling bins. Next morning the utility looked like a bin end of assorted bottles. Just more embarrassment when she makes me go to the bottle bank. I thought she would have been really sick on Tuesday. She does projectile vomiting really well when She drinks too much. She sat about moaning a lot about having a hangover. Who’s fault is that love? I stopped you having any more! At least one of us knows your limit. She was also moaning all day that She needed to finish the book. Another excuse to drink with the girls. Actually though She/We have had two dry nights after the mammoth Monday session. She cracked though last night. I had messaged No. 1 Son and told Him to waft a beer or a glass of red around on Family Quiz Night Facetime. Any sign of someone else drinking and She will buckle. It worked after about 30 minutes. I actually used that Zoom thingy last night. We had a good long (corporate account) Zoom chat, the quiz and a few drinks with my son, his fiancee and my favourite dog, laid upside down on the sofa between them. Apparently the dog was tired. Just like Her Indoors this week. Drinking takes it out of her for days. She came last in the quiz last night. One of the questions was a riddle. It went. “David’s father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and blank?” Do you know what she put for the answer? Pop! Snap, Crackle and Pop. When the answer was in the question, David! Mind, She did get one more spice than me in the question about, “Which 5 spices make up Chinese Five Spice?” She was struggling with the other four though. I decided to write “Rum, Vodka, Whisky, Brandy, Gin.” Much more entertaining than that star anise thing She wrote. I’ve managed to get out golfing twice this week. I won one game and came second. Doing a three ball though this afternoon. Don’t tell the Mrs though. Branching out now it’s allowed. I went out on my own one of the days and found eight balls. Ironic really as I had just ordered some new ones that morning using Her Indoors credit card. She’ll not notice. She’s too tired. We also had a bit of a domestic over shed guttering. She’s been banging on about it for over a year. Needs guttering to collect water for the garden. Problem is it’s not a normal shape as it slopes backwards and it needs mini guttering. Credit to Her she’s researched it. Problem is She has a hissy fit when the parts don’t fit or the corner bit is wrong. She also wants black to match the overpriced black water butt She bought. What is the matter with green? Anyway we sat on the sofa, side by side, nicely shouting at each other, over slip connectors and end caps. She ordered a mini guttering set and some extra bits to make it work. Modification I think it’s called. Click and bloody collect only, from the edge of Newcastle, over the border. Contamination zone and possible trip to a garden centre on the way back if She disnae need the loo. More bloody money spent. Ten minutes after clicking I ask, “You did order that extra corner piece as well?” World War three went off and She stormed upstairs to iron my golf trousers. Always works a treat. She placed a second order later having clearly not read my mind. We’ve not collected yet. Screwfix have to assemble the pieces of mini guttering, from around the North East, in one location. Better warn the neighbours that there could be a domestic brewing when the extra bit disnae fit. She dragged me around that wood at Howick yesterday when I could have been on the rower. I’ve not been on it for days. Too much hole digging for Her Indoors. And She suggested that I was over 60 to the women hiding behind the glass screen. Discount She said. How dare She suggest I’m a pensioner. She’s just suggested we need another big rock off the beach. Bucking carry it yourself love if I’m that old! Now she wants me to take her for ice cream at Spurreli’s. God this woman is needy. Better keep her sweet though if I want that game of golf this afternoon. Sorted.
I have really enjoyed my day off other than the walk of shame back and forwards at the bottle bank. I have done the weekly shop (whilst He sat in the car playing bricks and balls) and disinfected it on return home. I’ve made a courgette cake because it’s been miserable and I needed some calories. Best of all though we went for ice cream at Spurreli’s for breakfast. Rhubarb and ginger tub. One portion. Magnificent. Invisible calories. Him-in-the-car had Alnwick rum and raisin, in a chocolate cone. Double portion. Great to see them re-open for takeaways. We had planned to stroll around the harbour but it started to spit and Him-in-the-car didn’t want to get his hair wet before golf this afternoon. I do wonder how he finds time to write my blog? Stay safe everyone and have a good weekend. Hope the weather improves.