Monday 27th July 2020 – Family fun in the sun

We have had a fantastic weekend but it disappeared too quick. Speedy just like Spike. We have had a fun filled family few days. Now they have packed their car and left, I have time on my hands to summarise our weekend. Plus it is raining so our day will be limited by the weather. Plus I have a mild hangover which in all fairness should be massive. Talking about ‘masive’, Best-Daughter-in-Law-to-be stole my word yesterday. We had kindly received an invite to birthday drinks from one of the Guilden 10. Luckily the weather yesterday was good and warm enough to wear a sun dress and have social distanced drinks outdoors. As we stood in the gorgeous garden that faces the fields Best-Daughter-in-Law-to-be exclaimed that the sky and views were “Massive!” That’s my line BDILTB. Don’t start stealing my ramblings. She may be getting my name next year but get off my words! I heard also that one of my many phrases, ‘Bloody Tourists’ is now being commonly used amongst one Guilden 10 family. Being widely used to describe those annoying people who loiter in the village around the cross and clutter up our beaches. Glad to know 126 days of blogging has left some mark on the world. Apparently though some people are going to really miss my daily blog. Their lives will not be the same. We had a smashing time drinking too much white wine in the sunny garden, admiring the prized dahlias, whilst Top Dog remained firmly on his leash. It was good for No. 1 Son and Best-Daughter-in-Law-to-be to meet some of the Guilden 10 and their lesser halves. It was also good to catch up with people who have been shielding. I was just grateful that Top Dog behaved himself and didn’t poo in their herbaceous border. Birthday girl apparently enjoyed the gift of award winning triple chocolate brownie. Always happy to spread a little joy around the estate.

The Mason’s has played a big part in our weekend. No. 1 Son and Him Outdoors managed three visits to my two. As you will remember we went down for a late drink on Friday night and ended up as last ones seated in the beer garden. On Saturday night the boys snuck off down to The Mason’s on their own whilst BDILTB and I cooked and drank cocktails in the summerhouse. Yes, the summerhouse has finally been christened with alcohol. BDILTB was in charge of making espresso martinis. We had two followed by lots of wine. Just for clarity the cooking was done in the kitchen not the summerhouse. The boys made friends with a family from Gateshead that have a caravan and a daughter in Derbyshire. Also a couple from Cambridge whose sister lived in the village but they were stopping in a cottage for a few days. Obviously, bloody tourists. Apparently it was the dogs that started the conversation. Two springer spaniels called Top Dog in the same beer garden. Could have got very confusing. It is a good job they didn’t get too drunk and bring the wrong dog home. BDILTB would not have been happy at all. I just wondered if the other Top Dog was better behaved? Anyway we missed all this action but made a repeat visit Sunday teatime after the birthday drinks. It was packed and we ended up in the beer garden again. I had been fancing Sunday roast. Sunday roast though should be eaten indoors not outside in the sunshine. I still somehow ended up ordering lamb roast (small portion). It was the best meal I have eaten post Covid. I even ate BDILTB Yorkshire pudding whilst she had my mash. A fair swap. Really delicious and we drank more white wine whilst cooing over two spaniel puppies on the next table. No. 1 Son had the massive fish and chips. Best fish he has had apparently in a long time. Him Outdoors had lamb roast also but of course the big dinner man version. A highly successful adventure to The Mason’s and we even had a little wine left in the bottle, which I carried drunkenly home for consumption after two Alnwick Rose gins. No wonder I had a headache this morning.

The weather has done us proud this weekend. The original forecast for Saturday was bleak and we expected to stay in watching Hawaii Five-O all day and drink tea. Then just like that it changed and we managed our 6 miles on Warkworth beach. Yesterday we headed up to Embleton bay. Bloated after a full cooked breakfast. We arrived at about 11.30 a.m. expecting it to be busy but not yet packed with bloody tourists. How wrong. We drove down the narrow lane thinking we could get parked at the Golf Club. The whole lane and the club were packed with cars. Golfers were having to wheel their trolleys half a mile down the lane to the course. I bet they were seriously moaning about (in the words of Aunty Mary) bucking tourists! We eventually did get parked at the top of the lane. Never, ever seen it so busy. Half way down the beach lane we found a small lending library. Bring a book, leave a book complete with baby wipes. I will know for next time. The beach was also really, really busy. Dogs, children, towels and pop up tents everywhere. We had a steady walk down the bay to Low Newton. Top Dog went in the sea again, a little further out this time due to No. 1 Son’s over enthusiastic ball throwing. BDILTB screamed a bit when she thought Top Dog was going to be washed out to sea by a massive (6 inch) wave. Her Top Dog baby got pretty wet but survived the ordeal. Top Dog was very well behaved on the beach and only stole one ball off a small child for a very brief period. In fairness Top Dog did exchange his ball-on-a-rope for the cricket ball. He didn’t get away with the theft though. We couldn’t have wished for better weather. Some clouds but lovely sunshine. No. 1 Son likes a bit of sunshine. That and food keeps him happy. And the odd beer or three. It is always sad though (for me at least) when they have to leave. We have had a fantastic family weekend which was over too quickly. On the whole Top Dog was very well behaved. Much improved on last time despite the cat poo fight. No. 1 Son was forgiven for ‘forgetting’ the crate. Given we had torrential rain forecast all day here today, we set about deep cleansing the house ready for our next visitors. Him Indoors-in-charge-of-the-hoover nearly broke his big toe. Stupid numpty picked it up with the handle and the bottom fell clean out. “Is it broken?” I asked giggling somewhat as he rolled about clutching his foot. “What my toe?” No idiot! The hoover?” He then nearly had a heart attack at the top of the stairs. We are rattling about again like two peas in a pod, frightening each other to death when one comes out of a bedroom unexpectedly. Stay safe everyone and make sure you do a risk assessment if your Him Indoors is involved in the cleaning.

The Mason’s roast and espresso martinis.

Top Dog after the massive wave incident.

Tuesday 21st July 2020 – Tourist Tuesday

Newbiggin-by-the-sea doesn’t have the smartest name but it is a place I like to visit on Tourist Tuesday. It is a very small coastal town with not a lot there, yet has an old-fashioned seaside quality about it. It could be the fact that it has a promenade or the Italian ice cream parlour or the revamped beach. Interestingly 500,000 tonnes of sand were brought up the coast from Skegness after the beach at Newbiggin eroded badly over the last few decades. Perhaps that is the affinity. Skegness was our nearest coastal town as a child. A regular day trip during the summer months and sometimes even a luxury week in a caravan. The sea front at Newbiggin underwent a massive redevelopment in 2007. Part of the project included a new breakwater. On the breakwater is a 12.5 metre high sculpture called ‘The Couple’ by the artist Sean Henry. The bronze and steel artwork depicts a couple looking out to sea. At high tide it looks as though they are in the sea. I like the couple but I think the artist could have given more thought to their clothing. They are quite ugly close up. Their fashion sense is dated. Who wears a flat cap (Mr B across the road) and flares (not Mr B)? Their clothes need a good iron also. There is a ‘mini’ couple as photographed below on the promenade. Surely her midriff must be cold standing out in the North Sea like that? Not everyone likes the Couple. The Guardian included it in their list of the six worst works of British public art. Jonathan Jones, art critic called it “the stupidest sculpture of the past 20 years.” Quite an achievement! Jones then goes on to say it is a “eye wounding erection.” Who can argue with that? The other massive erection at Newbiggin is St Bartholomew’s Church. They held their first service since lockdown last Sunday via a booking system. How strange that you need a ticket to book a seat in a church. A place traditionally open to all. The church is best known for its dramatic headland site and many photographs on Facebook pages.

There is also a Maritime Centre which details the history and heritage of the town. It was only partially open today though. They usually do a great good value breakfast. Sadly not today. I am signed up on Facebook to the local Dolphin Monitoring Group. They send alerts out when dolphins, seals and whales are spotted around Newbiggin. They also post footage they capture. Dolphins and seals are regular visitors to the bay. Welcomed visitors not bloody tourists! Today Him Outdoors claimed to have seen a seal with his ‘Made in the USSR’ binoculars. I thought I saw a beluga whale but that didn’t count either. We did see dolphins though following a pleasure boat. About 12 other people also had their eyes on them through more up-to-date binoculars. Like a lot of our coastal towns Newbiggin has a Lifeboat Station which seems to be kept pretty busy. Numpties getting stuck on the breakwater, jet ski engine failure, person in the River Wansbeck and missing persons who are not missing at all. The Newbiggin Lifeboat Station is the oldest operational lifeboat Boathouse in the UK and dates back to 1851. It was built after 10 fishermen lost their lives and supported financially by the Duke of Northumberland. Luckily the boathouse didn’t get torn down when they did the redevelopment. There are some great stories about how the women of the village (before the use of the tractor) would push the boat out and then assist with hauling it back in again. In 1927 twenty-five women of the village launched the lifeboat waist deep in heavy seas, as the main crew were out on fishing boats. The scratch crew consisted of miners coming off shift. No Grace Darling though in the actual boat. One of the other things I like about Newbiggin’s sandy Skegness beach is the ‘Hunkleton Stone’. An erratic boulder dragged from northern lands during the Ice Age and left on the beach. A glacial deposit the occasionally disappears under the Skegness sand. Litter from the Ice Age.

I like visiting Newbiggin for its heritage but there is always another reason. Caffe Bertorelli on the corner of the Piazza. All very Italian. The caffe dates back to the 1930s and has lots of black and white photographs on the walls. Benjamin Bertorelli came from Northern Italy and married into an ice cream family in Holborn, London. He and his new wife Rosie moved to Newbiggin in 1910 and started making and selling ice cream from hand carts. It wasn’t until 1930 that they bought up a number of cottages to create the art deco caffe. The caffe became famous not just for its ice cream, but for coffee, as a courting venue for couples and an amusement place for small children riding the two mechanical horses and playing the penny slots. The caffe was then taken over by the son Armando and wife Jean. Since 2016 Frank and Mayling Bertorelli have run the traditional family owned caffe. A slice of Italian/Northumberland ice cream history by-the-sea which does a great coffee. It was great sitting outside in the sunshine today. Very well organised inside to meet the two metre rule. Him Outdoors thought I was mad as I had latte and Turkish Delight ice cream instead of a slice. What better way to appreciate an Italian than having both? Everything you need for Tourist Tuesday on what turned out to be a cracking hot day. Just before I finish, up the road from Newbiggin today Ashington people lined the streets to say farewell to local football legend Jack Charlton under a beautiful blue sky. 1,000’s apparently turned out, clapping as the funeral procession drove through the streets. We saw him last year down at Amble walking around the harbour near the fish and chip shop. An ordinary elderly man with his wife, wearing a flat cap and using a walking stick. It could have been any elderly couple but Him Outdoors spotted him. I am not a football person but even I know a legend when I see one. Stay safe everyone and cherish your day.

Saturday 11th July 2020 – Village scrutiny

We seem to have been really busy recently. A few days in Derbyshire, a day out walking, cleaning the house, a trip to Morpeth for a few bits of shopping and a night in The Mason’s. Yes, it has finally happened! More on this in a moment. First though it felt like ages since I had walked down the river and around the village. I felt the need to go and check that everything was in order now that the tourists are back and before our guests arrive. Not the terrorists, which keeps slipping out in conversation. Best-Daughter-in-Law-to-be told me she finds it hilarious that I was once a tourist and now I constantly moan about the ‘bloody tourists’. The shoe is on the other foot now though. Do I really moan that much about them? I am not a tourist now however, I am still an Incomer. I will never be a Villager if I live here for the rest of my life. Anyway I set off up the estate and through Montagu Avenue, past the flapping plant labels. If any of the Guilden 10 know who lives in that house, please ask if I can cut the labels off? The robotic mower was cutting the grass of the nice house at the top of the road. Micro mulching on its way around the clipped lawn. I am surprised Him-playing-golf-again hasn’t requested one. He’s spending so much time on the golf course he no longer has time for his own green. As I walked on past Bertie Bassett Bottom Woman’s big house I was getting quite a glow on. It was warm under the light cloud. As I walked down the lane towards the river I noticed something strange. An old man in a wheelchair, pork pie hat, knees covered with a blanket sat in a little layby, halfway down the hill. No one else about. This is equivalent to being in the middle of a field. He looked like he had been abandoned in a patch of nettles or possibly flytipped, along with half a stone barn further down? I greeted him and followed up quickly with, “Are you ok?” He assured me he was but with little explanation, so I left him. I hope he’s not there tomorrow. There is rain due overnight. There was a women much further down the lane with a dog with really bad back legs. The poor thing was struggling to walk. Perhaps she was in charge of them both. I hope she wasn’t abandoning the dog or the old man.

The rest of my walk was pleasant. The river was running brown as the fishermen would say. Evidence of how much rain we have had recently. Lots of different wild flowers and butterflies. Much of the vegetation along the path overgrown. It was much cooler along by the woodland. Thankfully very little litter and for once no dog poo. Some people on the river on paddle boards and canoes. A few mallards bobbing about but nothing very exciting on the wildlife front. The village was another matter. A mass return of tourists. People everywhere. All the picnic benches full. Lots of tubs of ice cream being eaten. People congregating outside the Village Shop. Tourists at the bus stop. Queues at the ladies toilet. Only one in operation. The village back to normal (other than the toilet). Not quite. The castle looks abandoned like the man in the wheelchair. The grass around the castle has not been cut all year. Usually after the daffodils have died away it is strimmed. It looks so unkempt. It will take more than a strim or a Chelsea Chop to sort it out. In comparison the cricket ground looks fantastic. Verdant and manicured ready for play. The holiday lets and second homes are starting to come back to life. The pair of abandoned shoes have been removed off the wall, cushions are on seats in front gardens down on the Butts, bright coloured parasols are up, dead plants have been removed and new ones added. Signs of life around the whole village. The village needs the tourists but I did quite like it when it was empty. It’s a pity the pubs couldn’t have had a trial run just for the locals before the visitors returned. Perhaps the pubs could have a ‘locals only night’ for Incomers and Villagers instead of steak and wine night.

Yes we have finally been to The Mason’s!!!!!! 116 days since our last visit. I know many of you will be thinking that we were queuing up on the first day but we have reserved. Shown restraint. We wanted someone else to check it out first before venturing in. Off we trotted for an early tea. Best clothes on. Well, ripped white denim jeans. I wanted to look trendy but not too much like a tourist, so I opted for my darker navy Barbour. I felt nervous and excited. Going out for date night. As we reached the pub someone shuttled off the bus and in before us. I hoped that we could get a table. At the door we were greeted by the nice Barmaid hidden behind a seriously black mask with a ventilator. Well, that’s what it looked like! We used the foot pump hand sanitiser. Great idea. We gave our contact details for track and trace. Lets hope they are not needed. We were offered a table at the back. Low and behold our neighbours J&J were also in on the opposite table. Social distancing was apparent as we had a big space between us. Tables had been removed. We had to shout at one another but it was fine. A one-way system in place. If tourists get lost they need to go out through the beer garden and back round, up Brewery Lane to the front door. All orders for food and drinks taken from your table. Then you take your own drinks and cutlery off the tray. Bare tables. No condiments or flower vases on the tables. All the staff were wearing face masks. Absolutely fine and safe. I did though miss standing at the bar deciding which gin to try then changing my mind and asking for a large glass of wine. Guess what Him Indoors had? Steak and ale pie. His favourite. I had a pork baguette with stuffing and double cooked chips. Cholesterol eat your heart out! Pure heaven. I was really good though and had only one (large) glass of wine. The other two waited until I got home. I have so missed The Mason’s. It was lovely to sit and chat across a void with J&J. We then walked back with them at a leisurely pace one metre apart. I did consider checking if the old man was still on the hill. I think I got distracted talking about hair cuts. We will slowly try the other pubs over the coming weeks as we get our lives back to normal. However, we did go back into The Mason’s on Friday afternoon for a quick drink in the beer garden in-between the rain showers. We will try out the other pubs eventually. Stay safe everyone and support your local.

Tuesday 7th July 2020 – Chocolate heaven

If you believe at least some of what you read on Facebook, today is Chocolate Day. Not national or international chocolate day, just Chocolate Day. A bit like Bin Day and Shopping Day but not held every week. Today is a tribute to the greatest culinary invention ever. Well, it might draw level with bread or slightly higher than butter. It is celebrated annually on July 7th, allegedly the day in 1550 when chocolate was introduced into Europe. I love chocolate, but successfully give it up every Lent for 40 days and don’t really miss it. Once I acquire that silky taste again though, it is like eating forbidden fruit. I love nice chocolate. Block, bar or truffle. Milk, plain, mint or white. I don’t really mind. With fruit and nut, including coconut. I like it with salted caramel or oozing caramel. I don’t mind it with chilli or sea salt. I love it in cakes, puddings, brownies and biscuits. I adore drinking chocolate with mini marshmallows but no thick cream. I just like all chocolate. Research suggests hot chocolate tastes best served in orange coloured cups. Ask for an orange cup next time you order. Mint chocolate chip ice cream is a firm favourite or chocolate milk shake. 2,500 years of perfecting the perfect product. Walnut Whips, Turkish Delight, Mars Bar and Toblerone. All favourites along with Minstrels and Maltesers. It’s ironic though as I make it sound like I eat chocolate every day, when really I don’t, unless it is Christmas or Easter and they don’t count. The British though eat more chocolate per person than any other nation. Those wonderful chocolatier chocolates are always the best. The cacao nibs ground into cocoa mass, separated into solids and butter, then combined with milk and sugar. It takes about 400 cacao beans to make one pound of chocolate. A good quiz fact if anyone is still quizzing! Did you also know that chocolate melts significantly below human body temperature which is why it tastes so mouth-melting satisfying. I should work for Hotel Chocolat.

I have a few firm favourites in Northumberland for a chocolate fix. I don’t need to go far for the first one as it’s in the village. Cabosse is a beautiful little patisserie and chocolatier owned and run for 13 years by Louise Frederique Keeble. Louise has worked for Rick Stein and Betty’s of Harrogate before completing her training at L’Ecole Cordon Bleu in Paris. However, as you can imagine her chocolates don’t come cheap and are reserved for special occasions only in our household. The Library Tearoom at the back of the shop is also utterly indulgent, good value and a favourite of the Guilden 10 and Him Indoors. The hot chocolate is dark, thick and creamy, served in a large cup with cream. Too much even for me at times. The good things is Loiuse offers a mini version for children and less tolerant chocolate lovers. You can add a splash of liquor to your adult hot chocolate as well. Him Indoors indulged last time we were in. I prefer a good cup of tea and their trio of little mini petit-four loveliness – fruit tarts, rum sponges, almond pastry and a gorgeous fresh cream chocolate of the day. I was hoping that Best Shopping Friend and I would have experienced chocolate heaven last week, but alas another calendar entry crossed through. The Chocolate Spa in Alnwick is also a favourite. It has a few tables inside for coffee and treats. Probably down to one table under Covid restrictions. A really nice pit stop after shopping in Alnwick. Him Indoors has taken to buying me a little box of their chocolates for very special occasions, such as an up and coming birthday. Hint, subtle hint! Or Christmas which is too far away. Or Easter which is 9 months away and a mother of the groom outfit away. I must stop eating chocolate as I have a dress to (find and) wear. I also have a cholesterol test coming up. I keep saying we are both healthy and ignore the fact that our cholesterol tests both came back high. Too many lattes that are not skinny enough, too much butter spread thick on bread and perhaps to much chocolate brownie. So much temptation though, especially when you are out as much as we are (normally).

Who would have thought that chocolate could be an inspiration for a book? The Cosy Seaside Chocolate Shop by Caroline Roberts is set in a fictional Northumberland harbour village inspired by Warkworth and Craster, apparently. The author had gained inspiration from helping in The Chocolate Spa and Cabosse. Chocolate research. Why didn’t I write a book about chocolate? Caroline lives in Northumberland and seemingly had been rejected many times before HarperCollins offered her a book deal. Her books are light, fun and ideal for a staycation holiday or a rattan furniture read on a sunny day. I have downloaded the seaside chocolate shop one to see if the connections to our village and Craster shine through. The village in the book is called Warkton-by-the-sea. I think she lives at Chatton so a combination of Amble-by-the-sea, Warkworth and Chatton may have actually contributed to the name whilst Craster looks like the inspiration for the setting. I will read with interest and enjoy both the chocolate and guessing the location. A few local characters might also make an appearance. Bertie Basset Liquorice Allsorts woman might also like chocolate. It is however interesting to read about her experience of rejection. She compares it to auditioning for X Factor. Putting yourself out there and being constantly knocked back. Her tips for writing a good novel include write about what you love, write with passion, finish it however imperfect, polish it and persevere. She is about 8 years younger than me but has about 8 novels now under her mid-life belt. All inspired from her local experience. One from sitting in a cafe at haunted Chillingham Castle on a regular basis. Well, I do plenty of sitting about in normal circumstances. And walking about! I gave up too quick when I wrote my first novel. I was rejected before getting to Simon Cowell’s villa in Barbados. Just for information he actually rents it every season and doesn’t own it. I could write about cosy cafes, ice cream parlours, steak and ale pie, sauvignon blanc, rendezvous at M&S, beach litter, fat bottom girls, numpties, bloody tourists…… Stay safe everyone and celebrate Chocolate Day and read a good book. Zoom Book Club tonight. Just praying that by August we might be all back together again, in the flesh.

Friday 5th June 2020 – Alter Ego (Part 3)

I am having my weekly day off today. I need a rest from all this researching, writing and reading. My eyes are positively hurting. That book with no punctuation was the final straw. It has worn me out. Bit miserable as well today. The weather and my mood. We should have visitors this weekend. Instead just an empty house for us to rattle around in. Him Indoors is taking over the blog again today. Wink, wink Best Uni Buddy. I’ve asked Him to drop the Scottish though as some of you cannea understand Him.

What a strange week this has been? A mixed bag of weather and I’ve felt a bit tired all week. More like my age. Her Indoors has been at me all week. Can we do this? Can we go there? Can I dig this and move that? Non-stop. Monday was like being back at work. She had me dragging rocks about all morning to finish off the garden before lockdown drinks with the neighbours. And she wanted me to dig big holes to plant some herbs or they might have been hebes. It would be easier if we had a dog to dig the holes but oh no! We have to wait until after the wedding. I’ll be too old to bend down then and pick up the dog poo. However, She did pick a good night for drinks in the garden. The weather was brilliant, sunny and warm. Just right for a few cold beers and a full bottle of red. Albeit she was shouting at me before our neighbours arrived. Normally she shouts at me for not emptying the dishwasher, this time it was because I was. Something about nibble bowls and a hot wash and less chance of contamination. She was funny though after the first bottle of white. Slurring her words, wrapped in a blanket, sat in the dark, because she still hasn’t ordered any solar lights. Drinking guests couldn’t find their way to the toilet even if she had been prepared to let them in the house. It would be far easier if Northumberland County Council did glass recycling bins. Next morning the utility looked like a bin end of assorted bottles. Just more embarrassment when she makes me go to the bottle bank. I thought she would have been really sick on Tuesday. She does projectile vomiting really well when She drinks too much. She sat about moaning a lot about having a hangover. Who’s fault is that love? I stopped you having any more! At least one of us knows your limit. She was also moaning all day that She needed to finish the book. Another excuse to drink with the girls. Actually though She/We have had two dry nights after the mammoth Monday session. She cracked though last night. I had messaged No. 1 Son and told Him to waft a beer or a glass of red around on Family Quiz Night Facetime. Any sign of someone else drinking and She will buckle. It worked after about 30 minutes. I actually used that Zoom thingy last night. We had a good long (corporate account) Zoom chat, the quiz and a few drinks with my son, his fiancee and my favourite dog, laid upside down on the sofa between them. Apparently the dog was tired. Just like Her Indoors this week. Drinking takes it out of her for days. She came last in the quiz last night. One of the questions was a riddle. It went. “David’s father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and blank?” Do you know what she put for the answer? Pop! Snap, Crackle and Pop. When the answer was in the question, David! Mind, She did get one more spice than me in the question about, “Which 5 spices make up Chinese Five Spice?” She was struggling with the other four though. I decided to write “Rum, Vodka, Whisky, Brandy, Gin.” Much more entertaining than that star anise thing She wrote. I’ve managed to get out golfing twice this week. I won one game and came second. Doing a three ball though this afternoon. Don’t tell the Mrs though. Branching out now it’s allowed. I went out on my own one of the days and found eight balls. Ironic really as I had just ordered some new ones that morning using Her Indoors credit card. She’ll not notice. She’s too tired. We also had a bit of a domestic over shed guttering. She’s been banging on about it for over a year. Needs guttering to collect water for the garden. Problem is it’s not a normal shape as it slopes backwards and it needs mini guttering. Credit to Her she’s researched it. Problem is She has a hissy fit when the parts don’t fit or the corner bit is wrong. She also wants black to match the overpriced black water butt She bought. What is the matter with green? Anyway we sat on the sofa, side by side, nicely shouting at each other, over slip connectors and end caps. She ordered a mini guttering set and some extra bits to make it work. Modification I think it’s called. Click and bloody collect only, from the edge of Newcastle, over the border. Contamination zone and possible trip to a garden centre on the way back if She disnae need the loo. More bloody money spent. Ten minutes after clicking I ask, “You did order that extra corner piece as well?” World War three went off and She stormed upstairs to iron my golf trousers. Always works a treat. She placed a second order later having clearly not read my mind. We’ve not collected yet. Screwfix have to assemble the pieces of mini guttering, from around the North East, in one location. Better warn the neighbours that there could be a domestic brewing when the extra bit disnae fit. She dragged me around that wood at Howick yesterday when I could have been on the rower. I’ve not been on it for days. Too much hole digging for Her Indoors. And She suggested that I was over 60 to the women hiding behind the glass screen. Discount She said. How dare She suggest I’m a pensioner. She’s just suggested we need another big rock off the beach. Bucking carry it yourself love if I’m that old! Now she wants me to take her for ice cream at Spurreli’s. God this woman is needy. Better keep her sweet though if I want that game of golf this afternoon. Sorted.

I have really enjoyed my day off other than the walk of shame back and forwards at the bottle bank. I have done the weekly shop (whilst He sat in the car playing bricks and balls) and disinfected it on return home. I’ve made a courgette cake because it’s been miserable and I needed some calories. Best of all though we went for ice cream at Spurreli’s for breakfast. Rhubarb and ginger tub. One portion. Magnificent. Invisible calories. Him-in-the-car had Alnwick rum and raisin, in a chocolate cone. Double portion. Great to see them re-open for takeaways. We had planned to stroll around the harbour but it started to spit and Him-in-the-car didn’t want to get his hair wet before golf this afternoon. I do wonder how he finds time to write my blog? Stay safe everyone and have a good weekend. Hope the weather improves.

First Spurreli’s ice cream of the summer

Thursday 21st May 2020 – Eat, drink and be merry

I had a self inflicted headache this morning. My 4.00 a.m. cup of tea was much needed. The intoxicating lillies decorating the table didn’t help. I think a large proportion of people I know, treated yesterday as a Bank Holiday due to the temperature surge. Particularly up North. After a day largely spent outside we fired up the BBQ at about 5.30 p.m. Him Indoors asked me if I wanted a drink to complement his beer. The white wine went straight to my head and sadly didn’t last very long. I am sure Jacky Door was drinking it whilst I was turning the kebabs. The jackdaw with the limp had been in the garden most of the day, probably waiting for my wine. I warned the Guilden 7 that I might be drunk in charge of a quiz pen as the second glass of white evaporated. I feel that I should inform you that I have had two dry nights this week. I get easily led though when people on Instagram and Facebook post photos of alcohol consumption. Last week all it took was a neighbour wafting a wine glass instead of waving as normal as we passed by. By 18:20 Best-Daughter-in-Law-to-be had consumed a cider, a beer and a gin. I asked if she couldn’t make up her mind? It was desperate times seemingly, scratching about for left overs, with only a further glass of wine and raspberry sours left to fill the rest of the evening. Mr and Mrs Cruise Buddies were in their conservatory watching the birds fight for territory, waiting for the bats to arrive and then the space station at 20:04. They even sent me a rather black photo of the distant station. Not sure what they had been drinking. The Quiz Mistress was also on the vino sharing a photo from the garden gin corner and someone else was claiming to be drinking orange juice. Gin concealment for sure. Everybody up and down the country drinking, just because it would be a crime not too whilst experiencing a heat wave. My alcohol consumption was worth the hangover as we (jointly) WON the Guilden 7 Quiz. This is news worthy of the Northumberland Gazette. Our previous efforts have been dismal, especially given Him Indoors lack of interest. The quiz had two parts. The first questions asked you to identify 20 chocolate bars sliced through the middle. At least five of them looked like Snickers and how could I forget what a Lion Bar looked like? We actually did better on the general knowledge round and very good on the alternative ‘place names’. Sheep’s arse we got straight away – Ramsbottom, historically in Lancashire but now part of Greater Manchester. We know it well as Best Uni Friend lived there. Joint first. So proud. We could have actually won if I had stuck with Tokyo instead of Shanghai. I must remember to add alcohol next time we quiz. I also need to replace the cooking chocolate we ate. All those photos of sliced up chocolate just drove me to the only stash I had.

Did you know it is British Sandwich Week? A week-long celebration of the greatest food to grace Tupperware containers. I also don’t suppose you know how sandwiches got their name? This is important, pay attention in case it comes up in a lockdown quiz! They are named after Lord John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich. There are two variations on the story of how sandwiches began. The first is that the Earl was so committed to his navy job, politics and the arts that he never left his work desk, hence he ate at his desk. This was before pot noodles and Heniz soup was invented. The second much more entertaining account is that Lord Sandwich was a dedicated gambler, who would not take time out from his game to have a meal. He would ask the casino waiters to bring him slices of meat and two slices of bread. This is how the sandwich was born. I was slightly worried as The Mason’s asked what was our favourite sandwich? Not just me and Him-in-the-garden-painting-the-shed, but their wider customer base. When I answered I wasn’t quite sure if a baguette counted as a sandwich? I can reassure you it does. It is defined as any form of bread with a filling generally assembled cold. We’ll just forget the last bit as The Mason’s baguettes can be warm, crusty and filled with beef or pork and all the trimmings. Which is my favourite sandwich though? Bacon, brie and cranberry sauce is a point scorer. Pork, stuffing and apple sauce also ranks high. Surprisingly did you also know that the first ‘packaged’ sandwich is believed to have been launched by M&S in an easy seal pack in …. 1985? Just 35 years ago. I cannot imagine what the world was like before pre-packed sandwiches. Britons eat the same weight as 258 Blue Whales in chicken on sandwiches each year. It’s also estimated that 7,000 tonnes of bacon is consumed in the good old butty. Sandwich in Kent has no direct link with the lunchtime snack but it is the home of Viagra. Something else to remember for quiz night. Unfortunately I could find no link between John Montagu and Northumberland however, we nearly bought a house on Montagu Gardens in the village and most of the inhabitants seem to have family and friends living on our estate. We also have Earls Grove on our estate. I do like a bit of a link but would much prefer a sandwich in The Mason’s, with chips please.

To celebrate the fact that it’s a Bank Holiday weekend and Him Outdoors has nearly completed painting the summerhouse I have ordered a 5 litre mini keg of Alnwick Gold ale and a cheese board. The nine pints of local loveliness arrived this afternoon but the cheese board might be a bit delayed as they need to milk some Redesdale sheep. We thought we would buy local and keep our farmers in business. We are looking forward to some mould-ripened Coquetdale and Reiver cows cheese and mature Cheviot which apparently has a refreshingly assertive flavour and a tongue-tingling saltiness. Sounds a bit like salt and vinegar crisps and Him Indoors loves them. Good job Best-Daughter-in-Law-to-be isn’t coming as planned this weekend (sob, sob) she hates cheese unless it’s melted on a pasta dish or pizza. I also took my car out of the garage (the first time in two months) and took it for a spin to Morwick Dairy (two mile up the road). I had a desire to see some black and white cows and to buy ice cream. I managed to achieve both and popped my money in the honesty box in the cow shed. They are also dispensing milk straight from the cow. Well, via a tap on a machine not straight from the udder, that would be Do-It-Yourself dairy. Morrisons food shop is also complete so we are ready to eat, drink and be merry this weekend (on our own). A takeaway on Saturday could just be the icing on the cake. Stay safe everyone and remember when you do your weekend shop, stay local and clap for local food producers tonight, as well as the NHS.

Guilden 7 Quiz Night – chocolate and alcohol.

Tuesday 12th May 2020 – JEF the Chef and Him Indoors

I cut my fringe again on Sunday. I can’t understand why hairdressers are sending warning texts to their clients telling them to leave the kitchen scissors in the drawer? I know they are professionals but I am not a professional chef but I have still had to cook for 7 weeks. Food is getting so boring. We are looking forward to takeaway date night on Friday again. We are also trying new recipes at least once a week. Following on from my Elderflower and Lemon cake masterpiece my latest ‘new’ dish of the week was Mr Oliver’s ‘Incredible Baked Cauliflower and Broccoli Cannelloni’. Well I like a good Italian vegeterian cannelloni. This was interesting. It had a list of ingredients the length of my Christmas card list but thankfully nothing too outrageous. It took absolutely ages though. Cutting up broccoli and cauliflower florets into tiny miniature bonsai trees. Boiling it. Mashing it. Then poking mashed up half cooked stuff into cannelloni tubes no bigger than a hose pipe. I had green and white fungi looking gunge up the walls and everywhere. The piping bag didn’t work so I had to revert to a teaspoon and finger. Whilst Jamie encourages me to – “Fill the tubes up – don’t be stingy!” You come and do it then mate! Once baked and served with homemade coleslaw and fresh shop bought crusty bread it wasn’t too bad. Very vegetarian. Not that ‘Incredible’ though. I said to Him Indoors, “Would you eat it again?” He sort of mumbled whilst chewing a hose pipe “yes” but the impression was “not too soon.” Tough. It would be sooner than he thought as it was massive and lasted a further 2 days!

I know I am not chained to a radiator eating scraps but I am missing going out to eat. It is such a big part of our lives now. Surprisingly when we both worked we would perhaps only eat out once or twice a month because of Him Indoors shift system. Eating out was for holidays. Well our life (out of lockdown) is one long holiday now. I am no longer craving fish n chips as that was satisfied last Friday. Sunday lunch at The Mason’s would of course be my next choice. Probably lamb with lashings of mint sauce and fluffy roast potatoes. Heaven. I would really like an Italian though. Preferably tall, dark and handsome. Oh no …. I know exactly what I want. Pork belly with teeth breaking crackling, thyme roasted potatoes and red onion gravy. I do love a bit of good quality belly pork. One of the nicest ones I have had was at the Joiner’s Arms, High Newton-by-the-sea. Last time we went I had geared myself up all morning and the buggers had taken it off the menu. Devastated. I saw one of the ladies from Spurreli’s walking down our road earlier whilst I was cleaning my windows. I could do with a slice of Rockie Road and Spurreli’s skinny latte right now. Skinny to compensate for the calories in the chocolate slice. I’m back to an attractive Italian though. I could really eat anything non-fish off the menu at Lollo Rosso Italia in Morpeth. Mozzarella Francese or Pollo Pepe or Zucchine Fritte or Bucce Di Patate. Those golden fried redundant potato skins reinvented with garlic mayonnaise and BBQ dip. A £4.95 vegetarian starter from compost bin scraps. Massive plate of pure luxury and excessive calories. I’d settle for a greasy burger and a mug of weak coffee from an A1 roadside shack if it meant I was eating out. Smell those Ronald Mcdonald’s skinny fries with lots of salt and BBQ sauce. Alas, it’s something cold tonight for tea. Roll on July.

Last night it was Him Indoors night to cook. Usually about twice a month before you start messaging me. Credit to him as I thought he might not manage it. We had walked 6 miles and he had then spent 3 hours and 11 minutes (the time it takes to get to see No. 1 Son’s, with toilet stop) rowing a marathon (in the garage of course). Then I made him cook! Him Indoors had picked Gino’s roast beef with roasted vegetables and fresh herbs. We do have lots of other cook books but Gino was my short Italian Christmas present so he’s getting used the most currently. I eventually found a fennel bulb, surprisingly none in Morrisons but a Guilden 10 tip off that the small greengrocer’s in Amble had a fresh supply. I managed to buy a new thyme plant as mine seemingly has vanished and sage leaves were scrumped from the garden across the road. So all ingredients were present and correct, until Him Indoors informs me that he should also be cooking it with red wine and cherry gravel, I mean gravy. Page 101. I have as much chance of finding pitted Maraschino cherries in syrup as I do buying a dalmatian. No chance. I am not going back into a supermarket again until Shopping Day. Bisto gravy granules with a splash of red wine will have to do. Not too much red wine though Him Indoors, we don’t want to waste it. The dish has celery in which I really despise. It’s the serrated crunch and the over powering taste. Best Uni Friend doesn’t like it in Chinese dishes. Don’t know about Arrosto di Manzo con Verdure ed Erbe Fresche though? Anyway I allowed Him Indoors to stick to the menu thinking I could pick my way around the jagged veg. Do you know celery is high in salt and a member of the parsley family? The herb not the lion in the 1968 children’s TV programme. Him Indoors asked me how to core and quarter the fennel bulb? No idea. Google it. I would have thought you needed to quarter and core, not core and quarter! It’s not like an apple where you can stick a corer up it. More like a drill. Eventually it was in the oven cooking. He gave it 10 minutes more cooking as the recipe suggested, for those who don’t like blood pouring out of the flesh. In all honesty that was five minutes too many. The dish tasted fantastic though. Restaurant quality. I only gagged on one piece of celery that still tasted serrated. Nice piece of beef Mr Turnbull. Quess what? Enough left over for cold beef and salad tonight. Stay safe everyone whilst doing your shopping and dust off those cook books because it’s going to be awhile before your Arse will be on someone else’s dining table chair.

Incredible Baked Cauliflower and Broccoli Cannelloni.

Arrosto Di Manzo Con Verdure Ed Erbe Fresche.

Sunday 26th April 2020 – Food, glorious food

It has been six weeks exactly since we last ate out. I am becoming obsessed with food. Any food but not that in my cupboards and fridge. Yes, I am trying some new recipes but its not always easy to get the right ingredients in one shop. And I have no intention of loitering in the Mexican food aisle. During the week we watched James Martin’s – Islands to Highlands. Best Shopping Buddy is a big fan of James. Episode 13 is Northumberland with Michelin-starred chef Kenny Atkinson. It was hilarious watching James drive his red mini in the wrong direction to where he was heading. First he picked Kenny up from a doorway of a pub in Seahouses, of no real relevance to Kenny, then they are driving up north and away from Amble their destination. Most viewers wouldn’t notice this of course. They did do a great section on Amble and the lobster hatchery which is pretty cool even for adults. I liked his use of stotties something I knew nothing about before moving here and singing hinnies that miners took to work. What great names for food we have up North. There is also a great restaurant in Whitley Bay called Hinnies. James also had a boat trip around Coquet Island just off Amble which was on my list of Northumberland things to do this year. Still hope yet. They also went to Holy Island and visited Lindisfarne Mead. How could he not? What you don’t see though is James in Spurreli’s eating ice cream. Not sure if he got a free bubble gum cone or not, but we locals know he was there. It was all great and worth a watch until he skipped off to County Durham to the Raby Hunt Restaurant. When did County Durham become Northumberland? North East maybe. The episode is entitled ‘Northumberland’ not ‘and County Durham’. Newcastle is still a 50 minute drive away. It makes it look like we haven’t got any decent restaurants. Let’s just drive 60 odd miles over the County border and past the Angel. Now, it’s James’s favourite new best restaurant! OMG have you seen the prices? £170 per person or £205 per person if you want to perch uncomfortably on a bar stool just to see inside the kitchen. Wine package starting at £105.00 per person. Did you see the portion size? No wonder you need 14 courses. Too much claw and tentacles for my liking. The mango, yuzu and coconut tart skull didn’t look bad but seriously A5 Wagyu! You could stay for the night…but I didn’t dare check the price. Good on James Close for achieving such high status but come on Mr Martin’s producers find somewhere in Northumberland not the wider North East. We have Michelin Guide restaurants as well! Perhaps not ☆☆ star though.

As you would expect being a seaside place we have lots of ice cream choice around us. Spurreli’s has been mentioned for its skinny latte and cakes, but its probably better known locally for its Italian inspired ice cream. Elderberry and ginger. Cookie dough. Mint chocolate chip. Rum n raisin is the favoured ice cream of Him-in-Squirrels. I am not a big fan of cones. Too much like eating thin cardboard. I prefer a tub. Over the years I have learnt just to order a small one whilst our visitors go straight in for three scoops and then complain about being stuffed for 24 hours. Northumberland has no portion control. All food comes oversized, except for the three miniscule monk fish wishy-washy curry, at a place where we will never eat again. Spurreli’s have recently added a canopy and a refurbished outdoor seating area which is great for when we WILL be walking Top Dog to Amble. Glass half full mentality and all that. They also do huge, and I mean huge, sundae bowls. Never had one yet but that could be another first post Coronavirus. We also have Morwick Dairy literally part way up St. Oswald’s Way. Delicious and creamy farmhouse taste. The parlour is in the old farm buildings. There are a few tables, a small play area and real slobbering cows in the field. They do takeaway tubs as well for special occasions (not visitors). I like the Amaretto or Blueberry. Anything really. Son-of-Morwick-Dairy lives on our estate and very kindly last year supplied us all with ice cream when we had our first estate BBQ. What a treat. Slightly further away but eaten widely in Northumberland is Doddington Dairy ice cream. Ohhh….homemade fudge chunk. 300 cows and they are looking for a new assistant. Could that be the job for me? Ice cream taster……no dairy herd health care worker. Probably not essential worker status. The Mason’s also has a fridge just for pooch ice cream called Scoop. A bit like Top Dogs real name and another treat when he visits again. Lastly on the same theme I picked up a ‘Like’ this week from icecreammagazine blogger. I thought it was only polite to have a look. Wow what recipes and brilliant photographs. Great article on the Northern rhubarb triangle. Lots of alcohol in the ice cream and sorbet. I might just add a few ingredients to my next shopping list. Amble gin and rhubarb ice cream. Yum, yum.

I think I may have mentioned, just in passing, my award winning Village Show double chocolate Brownie????? I am quite well known for it. I did only gain a third in the prestigious village show and prize money of £1.00 but it’s the accolade. Forget that they cost £5.00 just for Lurpak and 72% Godiva Cacao dark chocolate (Aldi finest). I was robbed apparently. Rowing club members and the Guilden 10 agreed. Well, I am an Incomer and the Women’s Institute have been around a lot longer. Will I be able to defend my third place this year or even move up a place? The show is one of the remaining events left un (bingo) crossed on the calendar. Hanging by a thin tentative thread. Just before we leave the culinary delights of the show I missed a real photo opportunity last year and I am still kicking myself. Some of you know this story. When I was neatly placing my over baked non-award winning (you can’t be good at everything) lemon drizzle cake I saw a rather bedraggled offering. Worse than mine. Half the cake was savagely missing. At the side was a hand written note stating a dog had eaten the missing part. A big labrador with huge feet that left two front paw prints on the gleaming white table cloth. I chuckled to myself (one less competitor) but didn’t take a photo. Somebody else did and after appearing in the Northumberland Gazette on-line it travelled the country ending up on the BBC news. I could have had that photo credit if only I hadn’t been preoccupied with nervous tension over my brownies. Anyway I think my brownies are pretty damn good. All goey in the middle just like me. Stay safe everyone and thankyou again to our dairy farmers keeping us in essential ice cream.

Award winning double chocolate Brownie with ice cream.

Friday 24th April 2020 – Fantasy Friday Part 2

The normal seven days of the week have long since vanished. Even before Coronavirus we just had four – Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow and sometimes the Day After Tomorrow. Now we are reduced to Shopping Day which moves a day closer each week; Bin Day which could be twice in a week and Parcel Delivery Day which is extremely erractic. Today though is definitely Fantasy Friday Part 2 as we should have visitors. N&N should be here and guess where we might just have been? The Mason’s. Firstly I don’t want everyone to think we live in The Mason’s but we do love it! Its proper title is Masons Arms. We are not regulars who prop up the bar every Friday night without fail or queue every Sunday at 11.45 a.m. to get in for lunch. Not that type of regular. The staff smile knowingly at us when we go in but they don’t know our names and we have only just got a loyalty card! How many points have we lost over the last 18 months and before? I really did feel I had made it though when the landlady said hello to me in Aldi. Visual recognition is enough for me. No name needed. God, we have missed The Mason’s. If we have a dog we are going to call it Mason. We go for date night, just the two of us. I make an effort by putting on one of my Barbour jackets and some jewellery. Do you remember those sparkly things that you put on your wrists and fingers? We take visitors there all the time. In fact one set of visitors were appalled they hadn’t been after two stays. We’ve been in on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. We have sat in the beer garden on sunny afternoons. Top Dog has been in and sat nicely under the table looking at the dressed up dog portraits on the walls. I also love all the old village photos. I’ve been tipsy in The Mason’s but never sober. Why have two large glasses when you can have a full bottle? Then there is the food. Big massive plates of good quality food. Steak and ale pie with chips and garden peas. Oven roasted chicken with lyonnaise potatoes. Burritos. Smell that Sunday roast. OK you can’t book a table which can be frustrating at the height of summer but I love it because its a pub. It is a Northern local. I have never had a proper local before other than a Wetherspoon’s which was cheap but doesn’t count. If you are really missing the Masons check out the 3D visual tour of the empty pub on their website. All those gins! I always said I would never move to a village without two locals, just in case one closes. Well, we have three and a hotel bar. When they are open again we will be back and we will have a pub crawl to celebrate. So N&N we may not be in The Mason’s tonight (or your local The Brown Cow) but let’s raise a glass to Fantasy Friday and think of friends.

This is our 5th Friday since social distancing and serious lockdown began. It’s been 45 days since anyone has been in our house other than by video link. It has been 40 days since our last visit to The Mason’s. 54 days since our last visitors. 61 days since a No.1 Son hug. That’s the beauty of an electronic calendar it can calculate that sort of rubbish for you! Him Indoors doesn’t have a calendar electronic or otherwise. His days just meld into one another. Our house though is ruled by the wall calendar. Well, we are very busy retirees! We have lots to do and see. “Is it on the calendar?” A frequent phrase uttered by me. I have just shouted ‘Coronavirus Bingo!’ I have four corners crossed out for April and nearly a Full House. It is only April birthdays that are preventing me ripping the whole page off the wall. Coronavirus Calendar Bingo is ploughing on through the summer months also. The Script are cancelled in July. Rescheduled for July 2021. Just two events left on the calendar for August and that’s it, Coronavirus has totally wiped out our mass gathering plans. Who needs plans though when you have your health, the sea on your doorstep, when the weather has finally stopped raining and you can dream big. I would forfeit mass gatherings for sometime to come if it meant we journeyed through this virus quagmire safely. ‘Normality’ I hear could be many months away. It might even be 2021. Please can we have gatherings of four and a dog at least for Christmas? I would have to pay Parcel Force to deliver all these stocking treats if not.

Although we have known one half of N&N since our early 20’s we received an unexpected and upsetting complaint last time they visited in November. They even wrote it in the black mock crocodile ‘Visitors Book’ for all (other visitors) to see! It read, “So last time we visited we were promised that on this occasion we would progress from places beginning with ‘A’ to others beginning with other letters of the alphabet.” Stop there Best Uni Friend. Its not our fault that we are surrounded by beautiful places beginning with A. Awesome Alnmouth. Adorable Alnwick. Affordable Amble. Ageless Acklington. So this afternoon we had planned to treat them by taking them first to Boulmer and then on to Craster. What speed! Moving up the alphabet with ease and in the same direction. Unlike Vera who drove North through Boulmer when she was going South to work in Newcastle. Caught chef James Martin doing the same this week. Anyway we love Curvaceous Craster with the little painted cottages embracing the small harbour. We last went in February when our pre-coronavirus visitors were here – Youngest Fishing Best Brother-in-law and non-fishing Best Sister-in-law. It can be a bitter, harsh place in winter, with only The Ship Inn or the Shoreline Cafe to shelter in. Both were packed so we had to go elsewhere for a pint to warm us through. Even the famous Robson & Sons kipper smokehouse was closed. We usually walk our visitors from Craster to derelict but dramatic Dunstanburgh Castle. We would have done that walk today and moved up the alphabet to D. I’ll save that walk description for another day as it is worth the wait. There is very little to see or do at Craster. Little lifeboat hut, an art gallery, a visitors centre in the car park and a harbour full of tiny fishing boats and two rowing skiffs. It is a beautiful place though. A real forgotten seaside village for older adults. They do have events on in the summer to celebrate Harbour Day and Viking invasions. We were genuinely appalled though on our last visit to find some scumbags had broken into the two car park pay machines leaving rolls of tickets flapping on the floor. That doesn’t happen up here. We did save a little bit of money though. So Boulmer, Craster and Dunstanburgh would have moved us up the alphabet. Not forgetting of course a few drinks in The Mason’s. Instead we find ourselves playing Fantasy Friday waiting for fruit trees and strawberry plants to arrive. Stay safe everyone this weekend and remember the good times BL.

Wednesday 22nd April 2020 – May the stars be with you

Yesterday I had two attempts at seeing shooting stars. 4.00 a.m. in the morning with a decaffeinated cup of tea on the sofa and 9.30 p.m. reclining in the back garden with Him Outdoors and a mug of tea. The Lyrid meteor shower was due. My first attempt within the house (on my own) largely failed because of an annoying flashing light coming from behind the bookcase. I thought it was Alexa being a pain in the buttocks but the sound system has a flicky blue light. I got distracted from shooting stars getting the step ladder out to investigate. I am short as well as sloth like. Then it became too light and the birds woke up. Our second attempt was at 9.30 p.m. in the back garden, dressed as if to go to Everest Base Camp in multiple layers of winter clothing including gloves and bobble hat. I thought it was going to be really cold but it was reasonable. We had done some research before we went out but neither of us subscribe to Stargazers’ Monthly Almanac. We are amateurs. I vaguely knew what shape of constellations to look for (????) but edged our bets and laid in opposite directions. The sky was exceptionally clear and massive. We don’t need to go to Kielder Dark Skies! Scrub that from the aspirational bucket list. I had warned the neighbours in advance about our night activity, although one must have missed the memo as their lights were fully on polluting our garden. We laid looking up for about 90 minutes. The same amount of time it took for Him Indoors cake to cook yesterday. We heard the bells of the village church chime at 10.00 p.m. That was a surprise. We heard a dull barking which could have been a fox. It was what we saw though that was more exciting. Firstly you need to know I have never seen a shooting star whereas Him Outdoors as a child in coastal Scotland, saw them all the time along with the Northern Lights. Annoying. Double annoying. So we saw loads of satellites zooming around our planet. They move really really fast. We waved to a few just in case they were spying. I saw the bats going up and down the wildlife corridor. Him Outdoors was facing the wrong way. Then it happened. I saw the ghostly majestic under carriage of a barn owl, swooping silently in slow motion down over our garden into the wildlife corridor behind. Followed by eerie shrieks. Wow, how fantastic. It was that close I thought it was coming for the fluffy angora on my bobble hat. Well nothing could top that. We ecstatically high-fived on our recliners. Forget the shooting stars. Give me an owl anyday. Add that to the kingfisher and woodpecker that we have seen this week. I had such a busy day yesterday I was exhausted when I went to bed and a bit damp. PS. The non-light polluting neighbours saw four shooting stars in 15 minutes at 11.45 p.m. Bugger.

Before we get too far away from National Tea Day I want to mention Howick Hall Gardens and Arboretum. We visited for the first time in 2018 and had anticipated going back this spring. As I said yesterday it was the ancestral home of the Grey family from 1319 until the death of the 5th Earl Grey in 1963. It is the 2nd Earl Grey that is important. He was Prime Minister and had 15 children. Come on Jacinda Ardern catch up. The tea was blended by a Chinese mandarin to suit the water from the well at Howick. Short version of the story. Became popular in London. Twinings sold it worldwide. The Grey’s (family not squirrel’s) failed to register it as a trade mark and have never received a penny in royalties. However Earl Grey does have a large statue on Grey Street, Newcastle near a Whittard of Chelsea tea room. The arboretum was opened in 2006 and covers 65 acres. There are around 11,000 trees most grown from seeds collected in the wild by plant hunters. There are numerous gardens as well but unusually for me it’s the trees that make it special. They do have a tea room with red squirrel feeders outside the window. There is however no plant shop as it is not a commercialised venture. The trees have grown huge over the years providing one massive forest exploring different continents. My photos today capture early Autumn at Howick. You can also walk down to the coast and the Bathing House I mentioned back in my very first blog. We know one of the gardeners on the estate. I do hope he’s still feeding those little reds. How strange the place must look with no tourists. We will be back. I am sure a few visitors will now want to see it for themselves. Top Dog not allowed unfortunately, even though he would fit in being a gundog. Just before I move off the subject of tea I forgot yesterday to mention there is a Northumberland Tea Company which is fronted by Northumbrian legend Jack Charlton. They are still delivering via mail order but alas a little too strong for my weaker bergamot taste. We did see Jackie and his wife in Amble once having a leisurely stroll around the quayside in his flat cap. “The best cup since 1966”, he says. I would disagree but then he’s a legend in these parts. So many adverts on Facebook this morning for tea… Brew Tea, Teaholic, JING Tea….those satellites are definitely spying.

I think I need to touch on more mundane matters – the weekly shop. Morrisons had left me perplexed last week so we decided to drive the short distant to Alnwick. So clutching my bags for life visible to anyone playing eye spy …..we drove along the coastal road. Lots of spring lambs, rabbits, blossom, bulbs and that stupendous view of Alnmouth as you drive North. I opened the window to take in a little fresh sea air. I did worry though when Anastasia, Alexa’s cousin told us there was serious roadworks ahead. Had they blockaded Alwick? Just another set of roadworks for another new housing estate very like our own. The Duke is certainly bringing in the bread. It was nice and calm in Aldi. Nice big yellow arrows on the floor showing the direction of travel. No. 1 Son was a snob about Aldi until he had a house of his own. Durham Pease Pudding half the price of Morrisons. Sweet and juicy wonky strawberries. Lovely. Sweet chilli spatchcock chicken. Yummy. Wonderful Nordpak. I have missed you Aldi. The middle aisle was frustrating though. Rattan obelisk for the garden. Two sizes of water butts. Grhhh. Luxury foot spa. I so need that. What if the Northumberland Gazette photographer is outside? How would a photo of me balancing a water butt over my head look. Oh …. that could be the answer. I did squash a rubber boot tray into the bottom of the trolley under a large pack of kitchen towel. Need one of those for the Earl Grey guest room. Somewhere for all those mucky guests shoes to go. We finished off our shop at the new out of town Turnbull’s Food Hall. The real reason for our journey. Stocking up on essential BBQ meat. Can’t beat Turnbull’s Northumberland sausage or black pepper and garlic kebabs. Get the barbie on Him Outdoors. Stay safe everyone and celebrate your local butcher.