I have had a bit of a melt down this week. Not because of lockdown, but coming out of total lockdown and receiving our first visitors. I have forgotten what to do? Forgotten how to receive visitors in a proper manner. It’s been over 4 months since anyone stayed with us. I am out of practice. Everywhere was spotless at the beginning of lockdown as I tried to keep myself busy and then things began to slide. A bit of dust here, a dirty tile up there, the odd spider in the corner. Before you know it a full house clean is needed. Him Indoors is still in charge of the hovering despite his groin injury. I am in charge of dusting, window cleaning, mirror polishing, sink scrubbing and toilet cleaning. All the good jobs. I started panicking on Wednesday that I still hadn’t cleaned the oven. I have had months to do this one job and it is still on my ‘To Do’ list. Procrastination. At least I didn’t need to cotton bud the radiators. They are still fine. The windows took me ages. All those flies leaving their mark. I hate my windows having chicken pox. I hate flies full stop. I made Him Indoors clean the BBQ whilst I went food shopping on my own. I wasn’t buying big plants or big planters so I didn’t really need Him Indoors. BBQ scrubbing was more productive than bricks and balls. I had a long shopping list to cover lots of meals. I forgot the coffee beans but had lots of bottles. It took me ages to ReFresh! all my purchases and then I remembered we only have a small fridge. Too much cold food and a fridge too small. Him Outdoors was cutting the front lawn and chatting with neighbours whilst I squashed Northumberland sausages into the fridge. Next minute I hear voices in the back garden. Him Outdoors has dragged someone else in off the street to look at the garden. I should start charging. I stick my head out of the tri-folds thinking it’s a neighbour and see a DPD delivery driver in a nice red shirt. Him Outdoors has dragged a delivery driver in to look at His lawn! Him Outdoors needs company. Good job we have visitors arriving soon.
In preparation of their arrival I retrieved the ‘Visitors Book’ from the back of the drawer and dusted down the mock leather cover. I inserted a big Coronavirus X across a whole page so in years to come we will remember why no one came to see us. I flick through the pages looking at the 5☆ reviews. So many mentions of The Mason’s famous steak pie and ice cream at Spurreli’s. We must start to take visitors further afield. Try Morwick Dairy for a change and Topsey Turvey. Guests that arrive during Lent with a box of chocolates for me. What do I give up every year? Guests booking up for a repeat visit (complete with suggested dates) before they have even left. Guests saying they will stay longer next time. Really! We do have a life up here you know. Guests loving the Northumberland sunshine. Yes, we do have some good weather! Lots of comments about great fish and chips from Amble and many visits to Alnwick Garden. The benefit of being able to take a guest to stroll around the gardens for free. My cakes always seem to go down a treat. Never any left when they leave. The beds are comfy apparently and everyone sleeps well (but me). Everyone mentions if they have spotted any seals and the occasional dolphin for very special guests. Most people think we are great company. They have to say that or they don’t get invited back. Our last guests stayed an extra night, they enjoyed it so much even though we did make them walk more miles than they would have liked. It’s good looking back on the comments our bloody visitors have left. Always good though when they have gone. Him Indoors wrote that not me!
So how will the social distancing work then this weekend? Other than the Boiler Man no one has been in our house since mid March. Well, the house is scrubbed and I have fresh flowers on the table. Our guests are one of our oldest friends. In age and years known. The Tulip Brownie’s are coming to stay!!!! They are honoured guests as I purchased tulips for the garden in their name. They are also one of my avid blog readers. Better scrub the bit about their age although they did retire this February and then descended into lockdown. They are not Elderberries though. No stairlift needed yet. They have managed to survive 4 months 24/7 but are ready for some fresh Northumberland air and a bit of space. I joked with them months ago that they would be our first visitors post Coronavirus. I never believed it would be true. Of course we will not hug (in front of the neighbours). I have scrubbed the garden furniture so sitting outside will be safe. We have two sofas in each of our sitting rooms and six chairs at the dining table so can space ourselves out. If I had some yellow tape I could install a one-way system around the living room at the rear of the house. Only left around the butchers block then right around the coffee table at the other end. They will use the guest bathroom, the one Him Indoors has yet to be allowed in other than for hovering. It might be easiest just to tape off the downstairs loo and install a ‘No entry’ sign on the utility room door. The only real sticking point will be the stairs. Even if I put tape down the middle it is not that grand or wide to accommodate two people a metre apart. You see, even the best plans fall apart. Just to be on the safe side I thought it worth 10 minutes of my busy life (whilst Him Indoors is fast asleep) to check Airbnb for Covid hosting tips or rather hosting during Covid. We don’t want to encourage that little viral bug do we! Oh great. Really not useful. I wanted basic tips like provide paper towels and all it does is send me to the Gov.UK site for the official guidance which I haven’t got time for. I do a quick flick. Double-bag used gloves and throw away after 72 hours. Why not straight away? It’s going in a bin. Do a detailed risk assessment for the cleaning staff. That will be me then. Disinfect grab-rails. OMG I haven’t cleaned down the handrail on the staircase! Steam clean mattresses after use. What the DailyJEF! Oh it’s OK. This is for cleaning in a hotel after a case of Coronavirus has been identified. Doesn’t apply to ours. I can thankfully just stick to my ReFresh! and bleach and of course the one-way system around the living room. So pleased I didn’t decide to do Airbnb this summer. The legal stuff for being sued over Coronavirus looks horrendous. Have a good weekend everyone and get cleaning if you have visitors coming to stay.
The Daily JEF 